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It's My Turn, by Tina Fuller
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This book is for adults who are dealing with a self-absorbed parent. It provides a clear understanding of narcissism and coping strategies. It was written from my personal experience of growing up with a narcissistic mother. It will also give you the necessary tools to gain freedom from the suffocating grip of narcissism.
- Sales Rank: #167741 in eBooks
- Published on: 2011-09-08
- Released on: 2011-09-08
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
45 of 45 people found the following review helpful.
Enlightening Accounts of Narcissism, Histrionic and Borderline Personality Disorders
By Anya Markarian
If only there was a 6 STAR Rating! Reading this book was an incredibly validating experience. I believe that this book is essential for daughters of narcissistic mothers. Such mothers simply do not have the capacity to ever be warm, loving, or empathetic. I have read many books on narcissist personality disorder. The difference with this book is that it is written from a first hand experience and includes very specific situations and events between the narcissistic mother and the "still" seeking daughter. In reading this book I must have said, “Me too” hundreds of times and was not so shocked to be able to check off every single sign of narcissism that was listed within the book (manipulations, lies, games played, sudden fake illnesses, inconsistencies, pitting siblings against each other, attempting to turn your father against you, acting as a completely different person amongst non immediate family members, pretending to be religious yet acting evil, giving absolute priority to those outsiders who would praise her)! It was also interesting to see how many family members become enablers and victims out of need, and others even continue the cycle within their own families.
This book explains that daughters of narcissistic mothers may be subject to projection, extreme jealousy, and envy because you are viewed as her extension (or shadow). It finally confirms what you may have sensed already or had been told by others whom you have a loving relationship with. This is a must read! Learn to move on and realize that it is not about you! As explained it is usually passed on from generation to generation. Break the cycle if you are now a Mother and want to show your own children what true unconditional love is. Once one has their own family they truly realize what genuine love is, and that placing your children's needs before your own is priority. This book is a true awakening for anyone who has dealt with this issue. There is no need to blame someone who is suffering from a mental illness as described in the DSM. There is no need for one to feel obligated to be a part of a passive-aggressive battleground, with a narcissistic mother as the ring-master. It gives a new perspective, and arms the reader with knowledge that gives the tools to become the authentic “me” as well as how to recognize destructive relationship behaviors due to growing up with a narcissistic mother - and to change its course when it rears its head. I actually have been in contact with the author, and have found her personal insight to be extremely enlightening. Read this book and move on with living a happy, liberating and emotionally healthy life!!
23 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
Recognized myself
By Stephen P.
This is one of the best books on parental narcissism I've read since discovering, only a few months ago, that it is a personality disorder on my mother's part that's our problem, not my own inability to form a close, healthy mother-daughter relationship with my mother. For decades I'd been struggling to figure out how to create peace in our interactions, how to not wind up in pointless, frustrating arguments with my mother.
I was so relieved when I read about others going through the same thing and to be told to let go of my fruitless efforts. I was sad, too, because it means saying good-bye to any hope that there will ever be a good and close mother-daughter relationship between us. With a true narcissist that's just not possible. This book helped me understand that those feelings of sadness and frustration are common, normal and, unfortunately, unavoidable. It gave me comfort to read examples of interactions I recognized. I found myself saying out loud things like "exactly", "that's what she does", "that's what I do" and "yes, that's what it feels like".
I particularly found the part about how to deal with aging narcissists helpful, as I am currently living next door to my mother who is 79, trying to meet her needs without exhausting myself emotionally.
17 of 17 people found the following review helpful.
The best book on fixing problems with narcissistic parents
By reader
I agree with all the 5-star reviews here. Tina Fuller's book is excellent. Not only does she provide a method on how to determine whether your parent is narcissistic, but she also has a method to help her readers deal with it. I appreciated that the book was concise but comprehensive. I also appreciated that it was personal, and that she included stories and personal examples of how she has dealt with a toxic mother. The point of her P.A.C.E method is to protect yourself, accept the situation, change your interactions, and empower yourself. It's simple and effective.
From reading Fuller's descriptions, it's clear that she knows exactly what she's talking about. People who have been raised by these kinds of parents know what I mean. And yes, no one who hasn't experienced narcissistic parenting can truly understand it. We children of narcissistic parents have all heard, "But those are the only parents you have!" Or "they only want what's best for you!" Normal people just don't understand that not all parents want what's best for their kids. I'm saying this not only as a child of such a parent, but also as a parent myself. This kind of parenting is far from normal. The destructive results of such parenting last years and will continue unless you stop it.
If you have this problem, I highly recommend this book. Lots of the other books on the subject are by psychotherapists and are filled with tons of written exercises and case studies. These books might be useful if you're a psychotherapist yourself. They might be useful if you enjoy doing writtent exercises. But if you want to fix your own personal problem, get this book. You won't find better advice than from someone who has been there, experienced the problem, and fixed it.
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